Did we ever have a real conversation?Were we even in the same room when there was no one around?Trust me, I would have loved your company, would have loved to see what you, My Baajey (Grandfather) had to show and tell me about anything, anything at all.
Close but not close enough.
I am struggling to find words to best tell what I have in my mind and what’s bubbling in my heart for all this time. I admit and I know, in the eyes of others, I am that young rude grandson who did not even show up in his grandfather’s final rituals. But people can’t see a river that flows underneath a solid surface on top, can they?
In reality, we never had a moment where my heart went close to yours. Maybe this is why my heart, my emotions hesitated. But deep down, my heart aches still. We could have had a lot of better things together or possibly worse things.
But before experiencing anything, you are gone and my heart longs for that anything I could have had with you.
I do not even remember the last time I saw you. The last time I spoke to you. Neither of us had gone beyond asking if we have eaten and how is everything over the phone. Now, I miss that. I can’t imagine how a tall, sturdy, walking, talking, laughing life can crumble in minutes never to stand again.
We owe everything we are to you.
Thank you!
Your love to us is just exactly like mine to you, unseeable but is like a fluttering flame that never dies. In hearts always.
Bajey
Kaji Bahadur Rai
5 Feb 2021
aDiffPerspec 